My Hands
by CDLUVM
Summary: I woke wiping the wetness from my eyes, I try not to think of what happened, most people say I'm too happy, but lately I wish I had a portion of that happiness I had. "NO! No, save him!" I exclaimed when the happiness began to fade ... CandreForever's Askings, Songfic based off My hands by Leona Lewis. Pairings: Andre/Cat R


**DiScLaImEr: I dOn'T oWn ViCtOrIoUs; it'D bE cOoL iF i DiD, fIfTy SeAsOnS! LoL. StOrY fOr ****CaNdReFoReVeR bAsEd On ThE sOnG mY hAnDs- LeOnA lEwIs, WhIcH bTw I dOn'T oWn ThIs SoNg, I LOVE THIS SONG! It WaS tHe FiRsT tImE i HeArD iT tOo ;p wArNiNg: MiGhT bE sAd?**

_I Wake in the morning tired of sleeping_

_Get in the shower and make my bed alone_

_I put on my makeup talking to the mirror_

_Ready for a new day without you_

**-CaT pOv-**

I woke wiping the wetness from my eyes, I try not to think of what happened, Most people say I'm too happy, but lately I wish I had a portion of that happiness I had. I get up and walk into the bathroom hoping in the shower, I rinse the old makeup off my face. Scrubbing it with a warm rag. Tears fall from my face as I begin to remember; I suck it up and get out. I put on a pair of pants and T-shirt. I walk to the mirror and apply a little makeup, though I know I'll end up crying it back off. It's been almost a year without him, it's killing me.

_And I walk steady on my feet,_

_I talk, my voice obeys me_

_I go out at night, sleep without the lights_

_And I do all of the things I have to_

_Keeping you off my mind_

_But when I think I'll be alright_

_I am always wrong 'cause_

I sit in class, Sikowitz gave an assignment, to perform a song. It just reminds me of how he used to write songs and sing them to me. I begin working on the project with Beck, we decide to finish tomorrow. When school got out I headed toward my house. I feel so empty, I've tried everything, and nothing can fill this hole in me. I don't know how he could have affected my life so much. He was practically my life, why did this have to happen to him! Of all the people, Why?

_My hands, don't wanna start again_

_My hands, no, they don't wanna understand_

_My hands, they just shake and try to _

_Break whatever peace I may find_

_My hands, they only agree to hold_

_Your hands, and they don't wanna be without_

_Your hands, and they will not let me go, no,_

_They will not let me go_

I lay in bed looking at our photo album, I miss him. I don't want anyone else! I want him! I tried going out with a nice guy at school but everything the guy said reminded me of him. I can barely get out of bed sometimes, I fall to the floor in tears. I wish he was here. Couldn't I switch places with him, why couldn't it have happened to me, not him…

_I talk about you now and go a day without crying_

_I go out with my friends now,'_

_I stay home all alone_

_And I don't see you everywhere and_

_I can say your name easily_

_I laugh a bit louder without you_

I Walk into class a little better, I can talk about what happened and not cry. I talk about how we loved each other, and how we met. The day of our first date, our first kiss, everything. I hanged out with Jade, and Tori today, we had a sleepover, it was nice, I can even say his name, Andre, Oh how I loved him. I can laugh now, I actually laughed, and maybe it does get better. People said it did, I never thought their word could be reality.

_And I see different shades now and_

_I'm almost never afraid now_

_But when I think I'll be okay I am always wrong 'cause_

_My hands, don't wanna start again_

_My hands, no, they don't wanna understand_

_My hands, they just shake and try to _

_Break whatever peace I may find_

_My hands, they only agree to hold_

_Your hands and they don't wanna be without_

_Your hands and they will not let me go, no,_

_They will not let me go_

I got in a car the other day, the first since the accident, I actually feel happy, but that happiness never lasted long. I still fell the guilt, maybe I could have done something. Of all the times to … I can't believe it. I don't wanna start again with some other guy! I hate being without his hand in mine, when I walk home from school. I can't let go of him, I don't know if I'll ever be able to.

_Sometimes I wake, I see them reaching out for you_

_Quietly breaking whatever shields_

_I spent so long building up_

_I cannot fake 'cause when they cry_

_I'm spoken_

_They miss holding my baby_

I woke up, and it's like I could see him, like I was reaching for him. He breaks down the shield I try building, to prevent being hurt, I can't fake it anymore, I cry, like I've never cried before, I miss him. I just want to hold him, never letting go. I crawl back in bed and continued to cry. No! no, Why HIM?

_My hands, don't wanna start again_

_My hands, no, they don't wanna understand_

_My hands, they just shake and try to _

_Break whatever peace I may find_

_My hands, your hands, they don't wanna be without_

_Your hands, and they will not let me go, no, they will not let me go_

_My hands, don't wanna start again_

_My hands, no, they don't wanna understand_

_My hands, they just shake and try to _

_Break whatever peace I may find_

_My hands, only agree to hold _

**-NoRmAl PoV- **

***Flashback***

_**Andre was getting ready for his date with Cat, things were getting serious. He just knew they were meant to be. She was the one, he loved her. He got in his car and headed to Cat's. He arrived at her house, she was standing out smiling. She got in the passenger seat. "You look beautiful", Andre comments, looking over at Cat. Cat blushed, smiling.**_

_"**You look handsome", Cat answered. Andre smiled focusing his attention back on the road. "Andre watch out!" Cat exclaimed pointing toward the car flying through the red light, It hit the car full force on Andre's side. The sound of metal crashing could be heard for miles. Smoke filled the air around them as Cat began to cough.**_

_"**Are you ok?" Andre asked meekly. Cat nodded, she tried opening the door but it didn't budge.**_

_"**Andre the door want open", Cat panicked, she got no response, she looked to Andre, he wasn't breathing. "Andre", she shakes him, tears flooding down her face. "Andre", she panicked more, tears still falling, "Don't die on me … Please", she pleaded with the unconscious Andre. She pulled her legs to her chest and began crying, twenty minutes later the police, and ems came. They opened Cat's door.**_

_"**Come on miss", the EMS man said.**_

_"**NO! No, save him!" she exclaimed at the EMS, pointing at Andre.**_

_**The EMS walked around the car eyeing the crash on Andre's side, he sighed sadly, no one could have survived that. He had someone open the door, to make sure. Andre had been dead for four minutes. The EMS walked back over to Cat, once the other EMS lady got out the body.**_

_"**You can save him right", she exclaimed, he shook his head, as if saying no. Cat started bawling, "No he-he can't be we-we were about to go out on ou-our four month anniversary, No no, Your lying!" Cat yelled…. The police took her to the hospital to get checked out she kept fighting the doctors, saying Andre was fine, they shouldn't have given up, they just sent her home. She was never the same after that … **_

_Your hands, no, they don't wanna be without _

_Your hands, and they will not let me go, no, they will not let me go_

_No, they will not let me go_

**If YoU hAvE aN fAv. PaIrInG aNd SoNg SeNd It In A rEvIeW oR pM aNd I cOuLd WriIe It If YoU lIkE. I JuSt EnJoY wRiTiNg ThEsE :) ThX fOr ReAdInG!**


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